crippled words

Well mind you, it was actually six times.

Halooooooo \o/ ini gue lagi~

Tanggal 27&29 april kemarin gue nonton SS4INA~ and it was AWESOME

At some point of fangirling life, there will be times when you see some annoying kids in the fandom or even outside the fandom who are just a pain in the ass, they made you think “fuck, wth am I doing here, this is a fucking waste of time”. But later at some other point, you will experience that certain moment which will remind you of why you are in this fandom in the first place.

I know it’s 2 weeks late but fuck, super junior, I ain’t gonna leave this ship.

Oh and btw, parents didn’t even know I went to watch the show on the 29th, lol. When they confronted me “watching super junior three times, what good has it done to you!?” I was like, “well mind you, it was actually 6 times” lol. I wonder what would happen if I actually said that out loud.

Definisi kebebasan

Jumat kemaren, gue lepas behel. Yup, behel gue dilepas. Setelah 3 tahun.

“Dikekang”. Itu istilah yang orang-orang pakai tentang bagaimana rasanya pakai behel. Katanya, mereka merasa nggak enak, nggak nyaman, ganjal, dibatasi makannya. Sementara gue? Nggak ada bedanya tuh. Makan makan aja. Sikat sikat aja. Ga ada bedanya.

Bedanya mungkin, gigi gue yang dulu maju, sekarang nggak kayak kuda lagi. Gue juga lebih pede kalau senyum.

Mungkin behel tadi bisa kaitkan dengan kekangan hidup.

Selama ini gue melihat orang-orang disekitar gue hidup dalam kepalsuan. Segala macam tetek bengek norma, nilai, peraturan dan harga diri merantai mereka. Melihat ini, gue seperti dapat pencerahan, bahwa sebenarnya yang paling bebas diantara mereka adalah gue.

Gue berpikir, emang mereka gak capek hidup kayak gitu? Hidup terbatas, karena mereka nggak mau disalahkan, nggak mau cari masalah, nggak mau dibilang /freak/.

Gue akuin, dulu gue juga begitu. Tapi setelah gue merasakan nikmatnya hidup bebas, gue nggak mau balik lagi.

Karena sebenarnya pihak yang sangat mengetahui arti dari kebebasan itu bukanlah burung yang bebas terbang di langit, tetapi justru seorang katak yang terjebak dalam sumur.

eargasm

I really, REALLY like men with a deep bass voice. It is my biggest weakness.

Especially when I hear them sing. It melts me. It gave me shivers. It makes my neck hair stands. God, I just want to sit down and spend the rest of my life listening to that singing voice. It made me oblivious to the world, as it disappears before my eyes, as nothing ever happened but your voice. And heck, I wouldn’t give a damn if the world were ending. As long as the voice still singing.

To me, good looks, money and genius brain doesn’t even come to par with deep voices. Hell if l hear that deep bass sing beautifully, I’ll marry you that instant.

For some reasons that I too couldn’t understand, I can only name my favorite deep singing voices from south korea right now. They are Park Hyo Shin, Super Junior’s Yesung and Noel’s Jeon Woo Sung.

God, please, to my future husband out there, please have a deep voice.

Medi-fucking-tation.

I’m going to Singapore to watch Super Show 4! \O/

I’m going to prepare my mental condition for these two things that certainly WILL happen:
1. Having fun with my Super Junior boys;
2. Mental torture for traveling overseas with FOUR people who CAN NOT speak english.

And to think how hard my old man will yell at me for not getting things right.. *sigh*

EXCUSE ME? So you not being able to speak english is my fault. OKAY.

Bingung mau ngapain :/
Bahkan gue nggak mood gambar. :/
Terus gue maunya ngapain!? :/

All these “end piracy, not liberty” thing got me thinking.. Did we, indonesians, even ever had any liberty?

We live in a country full of boundaries. Especially for those who are moslems.

Makan ini itu nggak boleh. Ngeliat lawan jenis barang sepuluh detik nggak boleh. Megang anjing nggak boleh. Shaving/waxing aja nggak boleh. Heck, bahkan make baju tangan pendek pun nggak boleh!

Maybe for americans, who lived in a free country, liberty really does exist.

But us? I don’t know.

I know we are supporting a good cause here(I mean hello, internet is far more useful than most teachers in my school), but it kinda makes me cringe when people I know never even had a sense of liberty before said such things.

Well, what ever. #fightSOPA!

@xoxoag tolong ya masmangmbaksis orz

A　こんにちは　ゆり　さん。
B　こんにちは。
A　あさ　なんじに　おきますか。
B　あさ　ごじに　おきます。
A　あさ　ごはん　を　たべますか。
B　はい　たべます。
A　なに　を　たべますか。
B　さかな　を　たべます。
A　あさ　なんじ　に　がっこう　へ　きますか。
B　ろくじごろ　がっこう　へ　きます。
A　なんで　がっこう　へ　きますか。
B　バス　で　きます。
A　うちから　がっこうまで　どのぐらいですか。
B　バス　で　はんぐらいです。
A　ひる　ごはん　を　たべますか。
B　はい、たべます。
A　なに　を　たべますか。
B　パン　を　たべます。
A　なんじに　うちへ　かえりますか。
B　よんじごごに　うち　へ　かえります。
A　なんじに　ねますか。
B　はちじごご　に　ねます。フィトリさん、きのう　の　よる　ごはん　を　たべますか。
A　はい、たべます。
B　なに　を　たべますか。
A　にく　を　たべます。
B　なんじ　に　ねますか。
A　じゅうじごご　に　ねます。
B　よる　なに　を　しますか。
A　テレビ　を　みます。
B　なに　を　みますか。
A　どらま　を　みます。
B　あさ　なに　を　しますか。
A　みず　を　あびます。
B　あさ　ごはん　を　たべますか。
A　はい、たべます。
B　なに　を　たえますか。
A　たまご　を　たべます。
B　なんじ　に　がっこう　へ　きますか。
A　ろくじに　がっこう　へ　きます。
B　なんで　がっこう　へ　きますか。
A　バイク　で　きます。
B　じゃ、また　あした!
A　また　あした!

So yeah.

Guess what? I spent my the last 4 hours of my 17th birthday crying my eyes out.

Well.. That sucked.

You know what else sucks?
Sucky parents, and their sucky decisions.

That is all.

Feeling so down right now.

No, I’m not upset. Or angry. Or sad.

I’m just… Disappointed.

Well, most of the time disappointment is what hurts me.

I’m disappointed….. At my parents.

My anger.. They cool down. Fast.
My sadness.. They heal. Faster than I’d like them to.

But nothing can make my disappointments go away.. Not even time.

All I need for them to do is just say ‘yes’. Just that one word.

And they can’t do that…

I seem to complain a lot about them here.

Because as far as I know, the only source of every disappointment I’ve received in the past years of my life is always them.

What I want the most is slipping away from my hands as seconds passes by, before my own eyes.

I don’t want to watch it as it slowly fades.. But I can do nothing.